Thursday

So, Thursday is that fateful day that has come way too quickly. That day marks the one year that my grandmother passed. The only thing I have to take my mind off of it is a final in one of my classes. My son plays a pivotal role in helping me cope with that day. He will also play a role in helping my mom cope with it as well. I'm mildly scared of that day, primarily because I haven't allowed myself to feel or grieve since last year. The day she passed I had to go into work and I was a complete wreck. My eyes were a deep red all day and kleenex and I became very good friends. I had an incredible support network there and I believe I may go back to my old job to get a little of the support that I received last year. My mind is reeling as to what I'm going to do...

Februrary 19th is coming up quick and it's a day that I have dreaded for an entire year. Last year on that day, my grandmother Essie May died from heart failure down in Memphis, Tenn. My mom is the one who is going to take this day the hardest. It's going to be hard to function and go to class as well. When I was younger I used to write my grandma all the time. I would tell her tales of woe about my moms (then) boyfriend whom I couldn't stand and would tell her how I was doing in school. She came here to Colorado for my high school graduation and she was the only person that I felt that I could talk to without my mother hearing about it later. It hurts that she never got to see my beautiful son Kyle and it makes me feel guilty having not sent her a picture of him before she passed. I believe that she is watching over us and she can see how he's growing and learning. I still find it amazing that i have my great grandmother in my life and I want to introduce my son to his great great grandmother soon. I don't want another missed opportunity.

Piercing Gone Wrong

So, I did something about a week ago that most people get out of their system when they hit the tender age of 18 (if at all). I got my tongue pierced. The piercing itself wasn't so bad (my tattoo hurt more then that) and I believed that I was healing at a normal rate... man was I wrong. The second day hit and my tongue swole up like I was holding half a grapefruit in my mouth! I started popping Advil and chewing ice chips like crazy, trying to get the swelling down and get my tongue ring to stop pressing in to my tongue. I felt like I needed to get to the hospital because I didn't think that that much swelling was normal. Turns out I may have "jumped the gun" a bit. The swelling was completely normal and the Advil had kicked in by the time I had gotten to the emergency room. The downfall to my piercing is that I haven't been able to eat much of anything aside from soup and mashed potatoes and now I am paying the price for my poor diet over this past week. I am so very nauseous and I feel like I'm about to pass out. In fact I got a little dizzy while taking a shower and almost fainted. I'm going to suck it up though and take my behind to class. I've been missing a lot of class already (life happens) and it's due in large part to not knowing how to do school, work, and take care of my son effectively while continuing to have a social life. I knew one of those three were going to suffer and it looks like school or work is going to have to take the short end of the stick because it definitely won't be my son. I don't think I was very prepared for this tongue piercing thing to effect a whole week of my life so poorly... but I guess that's what I get.

Child Support

So I went to court yesterday for a child support hearing and it's sad to say that I want to literally pull out all of my hair. My son's father is so frustrating. What made matters even worse is that he decided to bring in his fiancee. Now, I'm not a hateful person or anything... I'm probably one of the nicest people anyone could ever meet, but I know i was downright mean to that female. Due in large part to how she ignored me and told "him" to ignore my son. My son is my life and I would do anything and everything for him and to protect him, so when this absent "sperm-donor" walks in the courtroom (47 minutes late) and doesn't so much as glance at my son... I got downright pissed. The day in and of itself was a total disaster. I missed two important classes and was in court from 8:45 am to 2:30 pm, starving with a migraine that wouldn't quit. I told my mom to take my son home around 11:00 because he was getting fussy and hungry. My case was last on the docket for the day so I had to sit and listen to all these trifling women plead their case on why they didn't want to turn their "baby daddies" in to child support, and I had to listen to some heart breaking stories on women who were left alone to raise a child by themselves (not unlike myself). At the end of the day I was exhausted and the only thing that happened as far as my case is concerned was an order for genetic testing... Now do you see why I may soon be bald??